(I asked this question on IPS.SE however I have altered the question to get a different insight from more sport minded people)
Recently, a new friend of mine started up a 5-a-side soccer session in which a group of his friends (that I had never met) would meet up and play a game for an hour twice a week. He invited me to come along as they were short one evening about a month ago and it has been a brilliant, enjoyable few weeks playing with them. (I am the youngest player at 21, and ages range up to 40 years old)
When he asked me to play initially, I mentioned to him:
I take playing soccer very seriously and change into a different person playing, nothing I say while playing should be taken to heart and if you're okay with that I'd love to play
While I am generally easy-going although stubborn in day-to-day life, when playing football I have an innate need to win. Because of this, when playing on with or against someone that doesn't seem to be interested I will vocally (and probably borderline aggressively) tell them to come on and put some effort in while playing.
Generally this is taken quite well as just me being passionate while playing, however when a new person (approx. 34/35) joined the last session and I shouted to put some effort in he seemed to be quite stunned and taken aback that I had confronted him on it.
After each session we usually have a few drinks and chat about games etc that are on and I have made some great friends because of this, but this new guy flat out refused to speak to me after the game because he didn't want to be friends with a younger person who thinks he can boss people older than him around.
I tried to explain that:
I had no intention of bossing him around and I'm sorry he thought that
but he did not listen and has ignored me since.
I am not worried about making up with this person as I only see him for an hour or two at soccer a week.
The general consensus of the group is for a serious game but with lighthearted fun in between. Is there a way of changing a person's understanding of what I say in an interpersonal way? The rest of the group understood what I was going to be like before I played as my friend told them what I said. Is the best way to just outright say it to a new member or is there an easier/more conventional way?
My question is: is it okay to be overly passionate/borderline aggressive when on the pitch playing a team sport without it carrying over to off the pitch interactions?